Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Rehab for a spoiled starlet - Bared Affair

I am pleased to present another of Beth's lovely Bared Affair articles. This time a Hollywood brat gets what she's needed for a long time. The picture may help you guess who it is.

 How could you not spank her? Honestly just looking at her expression makes my palm itch.

Lindsay Lohan has been in the news a great deal lately, and most of her publicity has not been popular.  Things came to a head the night of the Golden Globes when she attended and after awards ceremony party that Prince hosted at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel.  The twenty-year-old actress, who is not legally old enough to drink, was seen partying until 6:00 A.M. and was later found passed out in a hotel hallway.

When news of this reached Morgan Creek Productions, president, James G. Robinson called Ms. Lohan’s agent, Dina Lohan, and demanded that Ms. Lohan enter rehab immediately or face legal action for breach of contract.  Mr. Smith stated that Ms. Lohan’s reputation was bad for Morgan Creek Productions, and if Ms. Lohan did not take immediate steps to address her problems, the studio could no longer afford to have her attached to them.

 Leslie Sloane Zelnick, Ms. Lohan’s publicist, reported that the young actress was checking into the posh Wonderland Center in Los Angles for treatment.  While it is true that Ms. Lohan did show up at the Wonderland Center, Bared Affair has uncovered that the actress is not actually undergoing rehabilitation at that facility.  In fact, Mr. Robinson demanded as a condition of keeping Ms. Lohan under contract that the actress check in to Mrs. Emma Watson’s School for Wayward Young Ladies.  Research found that Mr. Robinson’s youngest daughter, Elizabeth, had had a troubled young adulthood.  The Robinsons checked in Elizabeth in to Emma Watson’s school and were astounded by the results, hence the requirement that Lindsay Lohan check in to that rehab facility.

To find out what life would be like for the young actress, Bared Affair sent Beth to investigate the routine of Emma Watson’s school. 

For starters, Emma Watson does not offer a 30 day fix/cure.  In an interview of Mrs. Watson, she stated that young ladies do not take 30 days to go down the slippery slope of poor deportment.  One cannot expect them to climb back that same slope in only 30 days.  Patients at Emma Watson’s can expect a minimum stay of four months.  Some take up to a year to achieve release.

During the in-take process, each new student, as they are called at Emma Watson’s, is extensively interviewed to get to the root cause of her problem.  In Ms. Lohan’s case, as it is with many of the girls at this school, her problems were caused by a distinct lack of discipline and positive parental guidance while growing up.  “Fortunately for Ms. Lohan,” Mrs. Watson stated, “that’s a problem we can easily address.”

While at Emma Watson, each student lives in a family-style cottage.  Four girls are assigned to each cottage.  The girls have a roommate and a housemother is assigned to each cottage.  Rules of behavior are quite strict, and as the deportment of a student improves, she will receive additionally privileges. 

Since Emma Watson’s is a school, each girl spends part of her day in a classroom environment.  New girls are tested and placed in classes accordingly.  Those who are high school graduates take college level courses.  All girls take a home economics class.

Here is what a typical weekday is like for the students at Emma Watson’s:

6:00 – morning bell, rise and shine
6:00 – 6:30 – shower and straighten the room
6:30 – 7:00 – family style breakfast and kitchen cleanup
7:00 – 7:30 – morning room inspection followed by any needed discipline
7:30 – 11:30 – morning classes
11:30 – 12:00 – family style lunch and cleanup
12:00 – 12:30 – review reports from teachers from morning classes followed by any needed discipline
12:30 – 3:30 – afternoon classes and group therapy sessions
3:30 – 4:00 – review reports from teachers from afternoon classes followed by any needed discipline
4:00 – 6:00 – homework and cottage chores – this includes basic housework and laundry.  Each girl is assigned a particular task for the week.
6:00 – 6:30 – family style dinner and cleanup
6:30 – 7:00 – inspection of afternoon chores followed by any needed discipline
7:00 – bedtime – free time for approved activities.  Approved activities include reading and board games.  Girls who have earned the privilege of television may watch pre approved shows on the Emma Watson Cable Channel.  Among the television offerings are the Donna Reed Show, Leave it to Beaver, Ozzie and Harriet, Little House on the Prairie, and Highway to Heaven.

On Saturdays, the girls follow the same morning schedule.  Instead of regular academic classes, they attend home economics.  In the home economics classes, they learn how to properly take care of their health and home.  Cooking lessons are a favorite of many of the students.  After lunch, students have outdoor activities and physical education classes.  On Sundays, the morning schedule is pushed back one hour.  All girls attend chapel services before lunch.  Sunday afternoons are reserved for group studies and family activities.

Bedtimes for the girls vary based on how far up the improvement ladder the girl has climbed.  New students start off with a bedtime of 7:30, since they are in the little girl stage and require the most guidance.  As a girl’s demeanor improves, her bedtime is pushed back in 30 minute increments.  Rule infractions cause a bedtime to get pushed up in 30 minute increments.  For the most serious disciplinary cases, a girl will be sent to bed immediately following the evening discipline session once she has been disciplined.  For those nearing the end of their stay at Emma Watson’s, bedtime is 9:30.  Bed checks are conducted at random times during the night.  Girls in violation of the bed check are immediately disciplined and will have privileges reduced.

The word discipline appeared quite often in the daily schedule.  Knowing that Bared Affair readers would be curious, Beth asked Mrs. Watson exactly what “discipline” entailed.

Mrs. Watson pulled a large wooden hairbrush out of her apron pocket.  “This is what we use for discipline at my school,” she said.  “Good, old-fashioned, bare bottom spankings.  Each house mother is issued a hairbrush like this one, a leather strap, and a hickory tree suitable for switches is in the front yard of each cottage.  Each classroom is equipped with a paddle.  When the girls misbehave, they are spanked.  They soon learn that if they wish to sit comfortably, they need to conform to the rules.  Generally, new girls will get spanked an average of 3 times a day during their first week.  By the third to fourth week, most girls are down to a spanking a day.  After two months at the school, a typical student will receive one or two spankings a week.  Girls graduate from the school when they have gone a full thirty days without a spanking.  The typical girl will take 4 to 5 months to achieve that goal. 

Mrs. Watson explained what types of behavior would earn a girl a spanking.  The first spanking opportunity of the day comes as early as 6:00 A.M.  If a girl does not get up at the first bell, she is spanked.  By 6:30, girls are expected to be ready for class and for their room to be tidy.  If the room fails to pass inspection, both girls are spanked.  If an individual girl is not ready for classes by 6:30, then she will be spanked for that during inspection time.  Because a girl must go a month without spankings to earn release, girls learn the meaning of teamwork and cooperation.  A girl may choose to clean more than her fair share of the room to avoid the morning inspection spanking.

While in class, girls who misbehave are subject to the paddle from their teachers.  Teachers also provide a written report on the girl’s schoolwork for that period.  An unsatisfactory report will result in a spanking from the housemother. 

During the evening inspection, each girl’s afternoon chores are inspected.  If the chores were not satisfactorily completed, then the miscreant is spanked.  Girls who have earned a bedtime earlier than 7:30 are also spanked during the evening discipline session before being sent to bed.  It is possible for a girl to earn two spankings during the evening session, one for incomplete chores, and one for the bedtime behavior restrictions.  Girls who violate bed checks are spanked at the time they are caught.

Some are concerned that celebrities such as Ms. Lohan will quickly revert back to their previous lifestyle after leaving Emma Watson’s.  For such young ladies, the school offers an after care program.  At the lowest level of after care, former students may return to the school for follow-up weekends of renewal.  During a renewal weekend, girls confess their shortcomings and are disciplined accordingly.  Some former students will check in for an entire week of after care to help them get back on track. 

At the highest level of after care, a housemother accompanies the former student as she reenters society.  The housemother will stay with the young lady for as long as is deemed necessary.  One of the housemother’s jobs is to teach those in authority over the former student, such as her boss or parents, how to discipline effectively and keep a schedule that is in line with a positive lifestyle.  Morgan Creek Productions has already stated that Ms. Lohan will have a housemother assigned to her for as long as she is under contract to the studio and the studio sees a need for it.

A short explanatory note: The name of the academy and that of the Harry Potter star are entirely coincidental, although Miss Watson's parents have said she may spend some time at her namesake's institutions if her marks from university are not up to scratch (Miss Watson is attending college in the USA).

I know she's not in the story, but she's ever so cute and spankable.

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