Friday, 20 May 2011

The Hot Bottom Award - Bared Affair

This is an article Seegee wrote for Bared Affair when they awarded the Hot Bottom Award. Please read on and enjoy.

The presentation of a distinctive honor for an errant celebrity

It had been a long time coming, but the big night had finally arrived. After a year of bratty behaviour it was time to find out which naughty celebrity would receive the first ever Hot Bottom Award, selected by the distinguished readers of Bared Affair.

All year round we collected suggestions for the famous young women who need a spanking for their atrocious public behavior. In November readers were asked to review the case in favor of spanking each of these young beauties and make a determination of the one whose actions truly compel a spanking on her naughty rear end.

The nervous nominees sashayed up the red carpet, bottoms tingling in the knowledge that by the end of the night one of their pert derrieres may very well match the colour of the cloth beneath their feet. It was not just the nominees who were waiting for the result with butterflies fluttering in their tummies. Their nominated spankers were also desperate to find out who had won, but they looked forward to the announcement with eagerness, not dread.

Nominee No 1: Angelina Jolie.

Jennifer Aniston. She was hoping to cane Ms Jolie on the night.

Whilst many of the nominees did sit with their prospective chastisers, not all did. One notable exception was statuesque actress Angelina Jolie, who sat as far as she possibly could from Jennifer Anniston. This did not prevent the former 'Friends' star from taking a position where Miss Jolie could see her all the time.

Ms Anniston smiled at the 'Mr & Mrs Smith' star and occasionally shook an old fashioned crook handled cane at the woman who had stolen her matinee idol husband Brad Pitt. "I would like nothing better than to stripe Angelina's high, firm bottom with this length of bamboo," she told reporters before the event began.

Bad girl model and nominee no 2, Kate Moss, was hoping to avoid the attentions of 3 former First Ladies of the United States of America.

Cocaine snorting model Kate Moss had been cornered by three former American First Ladies: Betty Ford, Nancy Reagan and President George W Bush's mother, Barbara Bush. The supermodel squirmed uncomfortably in her seat as the three older women scolded her vigorously. Ms Moss seemed all too aware that the tongue lashing they were currently giving her could become a bottom lashing when the winner was announced.

Nominee no 3: Scout Taylor-Compton. Win or lose the award the Gilmore Girls actress had been promised a hot bottom from the show's star Lauren Graham.

A steaming Lauren Graham was going to see to young Scout Taylor-Compton's derriere not long after the event in this article.

'Gilmore Girls' regular Scout Taylor-Compton looked positively miserable as she played with the gaily painted paper umbrella in her mocktail. Her demeanour may have had something to do with the show's mother figure, Lauren Graham's declaration on the red carpet to celebrity interviewer Melissa Rivers. "Win or lose," Ms Graham explained while holding Miss Taylor-Compton firmly by the elbow, "this young lady is going to have a sizzling encounter with the business side of my hairbrush when we return to the 'Gilmore Girls' set."

Nominee no 4: Renee Zellweger. She was at long odds to win, so was all smiles on the night.

Oscar winner Julia Roberts normally laughing manner may have accounted for Ms Zellweger's air of non concern.

Pint sized actress Renee Zellweger was one of the few nominees who did not seem too concerned, possibly because she was good friends with designated spanker Julia Roberts. The 'Erin Brockovich' star and fellow Oscar winner did admit that the little blonde had been very silly marrying country crooner Kenny Chesney when she was not genuinely in love with the man. But Ms Roberts predicted a simple hand spanking would suffice to teach the newly divorced Ms Zellweger the error of her ways.

Nominee no 5: Michelle Wie.

The stauesque and physically powerful Annika Sorenstam.

Teenage golf sensation Michelle Wie had a seriously tingling rear end. Her knees went weak every time she so much as looked at the Amazonian figure of world number one Annika Sorenstam, who was slated to give the girl her comeuppance if she won. Just last week Miss Wie had watched the Swedish golfer out drive top men in a skins tournament, and she had no wish to find herself over Ms Sorenstam's stern knee, feeling the strength in those arms. This was one contest that Miss Wie definitely did not want to win.

Nominee no 6: country singer Mindy McCready.

Country queen Reba McEntire had her eye on a switch for Miss McCready if she won.

It had been some time since gorgeous blonde country singer Mindy McCready had experienced a hit record. Tonight, the woman suspected her lack of profile may work in her favour for once. "I'm hoping that staying under the radar of voters would let me off the hook," she confided. The singer wished to avoid the promised fate of having to go out into the convention centre's extensive gardens to cut a switch for flame haired fellow country singer Reba McEntire to use on her disobedient bottom.

The Tension Mounts

Nominee no 7 and early favourite: Welsh songbird Charlotte Church.

Fellow Welsh star Catherine Zeta Jones.

The two favourites for the award showed mixed reactions. Teenage Welsh songbird Charlotte Church was obviously nervous and had no appetite. It looked as if she was seriously regretting the drinking binges and topless frolics that had earned her a nomination in the first place.

The sparkle in fellow Welshwoman Catherine Zeta Jones' eye was definitely doing nothing to calm the singer's nerves, especially when she mentioned laying an American sorority style paddle across Miss Church's pert globes.

Nominee no 8 and favourite Paris Hilton.

South African actress and animal lover Charlize Theron.

Spoilt and air headed heiress Paris Hilton laughed and played as she always did. Possibly she did not have the cerebral capacity to appreciate the seriousness of the situation. Nonetheless, she became noticeably quieter and even blushed once or twice when she glanced across at her nominated spanker, the stunning South African born actress Charlize Theron, and caught sight of the predatory glint in the Oscar winner's eye.

Chatter ceased and knives and forks were laid aside as veteran actress and performer Julie Andrews, the evening's Mistress of Ceremonies, took the stage. Ms Andrews was attired in an immaculately tailored men's style tuxedo, similar to what she had worn for her role in the gender bending comedy 'Victor Victoria.' Her hair was cut short and slicked back to her head, displaying her flawless and gracefully ageing face.

Mistress of Ceremonies Julie Andrews.

She charmed the audience by confessing that the award was near and dear to her heart, having wanted to put all five of her screen wards over her knee during the filming of 'The Sound of Music.' "That was especially true of Charmian," referring to 21-year-old actress Charmian Carr, better known as Liesl or "Miss I am 16 going on 17," as Ms Andrews delightfully described her. "I would have liked to have given her 16 going on 17 smacks with a wooden spoon," she added, to the laughter of the audience.

Julie Andrews displayed the award that the recipient would take home, an alabaster white, female version of the Oscar, with a glowing red bottom, and briefly recapped what each girl had done to earn her nomination. A hush settled over the room as Ms Andrews picked up the scarlet envelope that contained the result everyone had come to hear.

Eight young ladies held their breath as, with a crimson laquered nail, the screen and stage matron split the seal and slit the envelope open. "And the winner of the inaugural Hot Bottom Award is - " Ms Andrews paused for effect and then announced joyously: "Paris Hilton!"

Applause exploded around the room, with the hotel heiress's fellow nominees being the most generous in their congratulations and extremely gracious in defeat. Beneath her ever present, fashionable spray-on tan, Miss Hilton's face drained of blood and turned a shade paler.

"Please welcome to the stage, Charlize Theron," Julie Andrews requested, as the initial burst of excitement died down, "who will 'present' the award to Paris."

Ms Theron ascended the stairs to the platform, smiled at the gathered invitees and then asked in her lovely rich voice: "Paris, please come up here to accept your award, sweetie."

Possibly overcome with emotion, Miss Hilton had to be assisted to her feet and gently propelled towards the stage by one of her tablemates. The ridiculously high heels that she wore must have contributed to her wobbly legged journey to the raised stage.

Once at the podium the heiress looked out at all the shining eyes watching her, and seemed to be lost for words. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, and she managed to mutter, "Oh God!" before her cheeks went red, her eyes filled with tears and she clutched the podium for support.

Rescuing a potentially embarrassing situation, Ms Theron stepped forward and addressed the assembled crowd. "As many of you probably know, the presentation ceremony for the Hot Bottom Award is somewhat unique. It consists of the winner being given a good, old fashioned, bare bottom spanking over the knee of the presenter."

The movie star reminded the audience that Miss Hilton had been nominated for foisting her adorable little teacup chihuahua dog Tinkerbell off onto her mother when the little darling became larger than was fashionable. "As such," she continued, "I felt it only fitting that a dog brush be used to paint Paris's pampered backside a scorching hot red. If Julie could please hand me the brush we'll get started."

Ms Theron sat down in a sturdy, low backed chair that had been conveniently placed next to the podium for the presentation. As Miss Hilton seemed to have temporarily lost the use of her legs, she was manhandled over the statuesque blonde's knees by Ms Andrews.

Charlize Theron smiled out at the crowd, then looked down at the slender, oh so deserving bottom in her lap. She lifted the spoilt girl's brightly coloured, very short skirt out of the way and was delighted to see that the heiress had decided to wear thong panties. They would provide no protection, and actually served to separate her cheeks nicely.

Paris Hilton whimpered as Ms Theron laid the back of the brush across her bottom. The dog brush was almost exactly like a sturdy oval hairbrush, although as it was used to groom dogs, it may have been slightly heavier. The spoilt young lady's squeals and howls soon echoed around the room as the South African actress put the brush to her tender rear with a will.

Ms Theron made sure that the buttocks over her lap received a good all over coverage, and she held the wriggling, kicking, wailing girl over her lap firmly, not allowing her to avoid one single sizzling spank. When Miss Hilton lay limply over her punisher's lap, sobbing quietly, bottom glowing a deep, rich, cherry red, her cheeks streaked with mascara, Charlize Theron set the brush down, gave the heiress's scarlet sit upon a brisk rub and murmured, "There, there, all over now, darling."

She helped Miss Hilton to her feet and, not caring who was there or who saw, the girl went into her war dance, tears streaming down her cheeks, hands furiously trying to rub the sting from her buttocks. An assistant led the sobbing winner from the stage and into a dressing room for her to compose herself and fix her makeup.

In her distress, Miss Hilton actually left her award on the podium. Ms Theron retrieved it and promised to deliver it and a reminder not to leave her things lying around sometime in the next week.

Bared Affair would like to extend their thanks to its readers for voting. Without them we would not have a Hot Bottom Award. Also thanks to the naughty celebrities for giving us so many reasons to want their bottoms heated!

Originally published in Bared Affair, Issue 3.12


  1. Aunty,

    Great story lines, thanks.

    Couple of comments. While I enjoyed the thoughts of Jennifar Aniston caning Angelina, I would so prefer to take the lovely Friends star over my lap to warm up her panties! I love her and her bottom is well just so nice!

    As for the golfers, I worked part time a few years ago at a counrt club that hosted the ladies. I have met both the participants and your story line is perfect. Michelle needs more than one spanking trust me, she was outright mean to our staff. Annika on the other hand was amazing, but very serious but kind. I spoke with her a lot and trust me had many daydreams of her taking by the hand into the office and spanking me!!

    Fubn stuff, thanks.


  2. Ron, I always thought Miss Aniston could use a good bottom warming, in fact all 3 of them could have benefited from a heated seat on occasion. However for this particular contest, young Jen was the wronged party.
    Seegee will be pleased to know that he read the characters of the golfers correctly for the article. Being a tennis player I was a little disappointed that we couldn't get some of them nominated as good behaviour is so often lacking in the sport.

  3. Aunty,

    I understand and love it!

    There are brats oh plenty in the tennis field. Also yes ma'am the golf scene was right on and for me resurrected the thoughts I had for the two years I served her!

    Thanks and regards