After I posted my last story about Nicole Kidman I realised that I had another one, and that I'd posted them in the wrong order! I'm such a dill sometimes. No, Kimberley, Aunty Andrea does NOT have to get her hairbrush. I've given myself a good spanking in my head, that's all I need. Without further ado enjoy another Nicole Kidman story.
A publicity shot for the movie Stepford Wives. Ms Kidman was not looking quite so composed when I met her.
Nic's co-star and good friend entertainer; Bette Midler.
Even Hollywood superstars sometimes need a good, old-fashioned spanking
Movie superstar Nicole Kidman is among the most strikingly beautiful Australians known in the larger world. The 37-year-old actress's star turns in movies like "Moulin Rouge," "Eyes Wide Shut" and "Cold Mountain" have made her one of the most sought-after "properties" in Hollywood.
When my mother asked me to deliver a package from her friend, Ms Kidman's own mum, she anticipated that it would be difficult to reach the actress. Hollywood is the home of paranoia and there are a lot of weirdoes in this world. Ms Kidman lives in a gated community, hence the security guard and the difficulty in a random backpack-wearing stranger seeing the superstar actress my mother refers to as "little Nic." I had promised to deliver the package, but it was doubtful that Bared Affair would get a story out of this visit. How wrong I was.
The guard came out, his eyes slid across me again, he chuckled, pressed a button to open the gates and he said, "Go on through, Ms Kidman will send a car for you."
The driver did not say anything in the five minutes it took to reach the actress's opulent residence and it was just as well. My mouth stayed open the entire time in stunned amazement as we passed one huge mansion after another. It was difficult to even conceive of the sort of money it took to live here.
At Ms Kidman's mansion, she was seated by an outdoor tea setting next to a sun drenched pool area. The reclusive star was wearing a light, pastel sundress and dark glasses. "This is all a bit much, isn't it?" she giggled, leaning back with her glasses in the midst of the strawberry blonde curls.
She burst into laughter and started to talk about home. It was over an hour before either of us looked at our watches. "Oh goodness! Look at the time!" Ms Kidman exclaimed, her green eyes wide. "Deb, can I ask you a huge favour? Would you mind taking the kids out for ice cream and a movie? Bette is coming over and we kind of need some privacy."
"Bette?" I echoed. "As in Bette Midler?"
She nodded. Ms Midler was a tremendously successful star in her home country of the U.S., and if anything her casual visit seemed even more shocking than mine. "It's nothing special, really," Ms Kidman laughed. "We worked together on 'The Stepford Wives.'"
The question was: why the need for privacy? Was she embarrassed by her raggedy unkempt family friend from Oz?
"Oh Debbie!" she giggled. "You do make me laugh, sweetie. If I tell you will you promise to make yourself and the kids scarce? It happened when I did Stepford."
A Fellow Workaholic Recognizes the Symptoms
After Ms Kidman's 2001 divorce from megastar Tom Cruise she threw herself into work, she recalled. The scripts came thick and fast. "Anything I liked, I did and pretty much everything turned to gold. I didn't realise it, but I had turned into a workaholic. I hardly saw the kids or any of the rest of my family. During Stepford it just all caught up with me and affected my performance and my relationship with the rest of the cast. Except for Bette."
This was a very promising beginning. There had been gossip on the set of "The Stepford Wives" about serious tension between the two leading actresses. Some even claimed that their feud came to blows, though the rumors were never confirmed.
"No, no, no! Bette and I got on great, maybe it's because we're both redheads, I don't know. She no ticed my bitchy behaviour and came to me in my trailer. She poured us both a big slug of whiskey and said, 'Nic, sweetheart, tell Aunt Bette what's going on.' I really didn't know what she meant and told her so."
"How did you tell her?" I asked, having an inkling of what was said.
"I believe the words 'piss off' were used," the actress replied, a blush creeping up her neck and into her creamy cheeks. "Bette just laughed and then asked, 'Honey, how many films have you done back to back?' When I added them up and told her she nodded and murmured, 'I thought so. Nic, you're addicted to work, darling.' I said I wasn't and she said, 'Oh yes you are. I've seen it and I've done it. When was the last time you just had a day to enjoy yourself and the company of your kids?' I honestly couldn't remember," Ms Kidman related with a sigh and sipped her tea before continuing.
"The next thing I knew Bette stood up, took me by the wrist and pulled me down to sit beside her on the bed. She told me that she knew just what I needed and promised me that it would work. I told her that I liked her and respected her judgment, but I wasn't taking drugs. She burst into raucous laughter and told me that I was a funny kid, then she ordered me to take my dress off. We were filming the party scene, where my character had become the perfect Stepford Wife and I was in a tight, sparkly evening gown. I didn't see why she wanted me to take it off and I told her that I wasn't inclined that way and I doubted that having sex with her would help either. That got even more laughter than the drugs comment. 'Despite popular belief I'm not wired that way, honey,' Bette informed me between guffaws."
"Did you do what she asked?"
The redhead wrinkled her pert nose. "Yeah, I don't know why, but I did. So I'm standing there in my underwear, feeling like a complete and total idiot, and Bette just looks up at me and tells me to relax."
It was easy to forget to breathe as Ms Kidman made a stunning revelation. "Bette took my wrist and pulled me over her knee. I knew what was going to happen, but I just couldn't believe it. I hadn't been spanked since I was ten and even then it was a few swats over my jeans. I squealed as my knickers went south and then really yelled when Bette started to smack my bare bottom. More out of indignation than hurt, I didn't even really feel the first few slaps, although I did as they went on and the heat and sting began to build. Bette told me that this was all for my own good and I needed my fanny turned the same colour as her hair."
Ms Kidman chuckled as she unconsciously ran her hand through her own strawberry locks. "I asked why as the tears started, and she said that sometimes even adults don't know what's best for them and needed a maternal correction administered by a mother figure to help them out. I realised with a rush of emotion that she was right and the floodgates broke and I started sobbing. I didn't resist the spanking, even though my bum was on fire and must have been cherry red. By this stage Bette had started to use my hairbrush and she really knew how to use it, it covered my entire bottom, the protected bits in between the cheeks, what she refers to as the 'sit spots,' where thighs and bottom join. By the end I was just a sobbing mess, my nose was running, hair was plastered to my cheeks, my bottom was fire engine red and throbbed and blazed. I just cried and cried and Bette held me and rocked me and assured me that it was all okay."
Her low sigh from a face hidden behind splayed fingers indicated that she was both embarrassed and relieved to confess this story. "I'm better than I was that day and I try to not overdo it, but sometimes a girl just needs to go over her mother figure's lap and that is a need that Bette fulfils for me, just as she is this afternoon."
I nodded in total agreement and we both turned shocked eyes inward as a raucous New York accent said, "Ding dong, Aunty Bette is here, Nicki!" And at that point, I felt it was prudent to pick up Ms Kidman's two children and make my exit.
Originally published in Bared Affair, Issue 2.09