Thursday, 15 March 2012

Road Test 3 - Bared Affair and Kimberley Susan

Hello to everyone, I do love Friday. Today we have the wooden spoon for our road test, a great favourite for Mums and Dads everywhere I am sure, although I regard it as the Australian spanking implement and so did the author of the original article.

The Wooden Spoon

The island continent of Australia has given the world many things: Kylie Minogue, vegemite and kangaroos. Until now the world has wanted to give them all back. But the wooden spoon as a spanking implement is something that will be treasured by all mothers.

Australian children know and fear the wooden spoon, hence this fridge magnet.

Pros: Very easy and cheap to obtain, nearly every department store and supermarket stocks a full complement in a variety of sizes. Multifunctional, can be used to stir the soup and cook a naughty bottom. Its long handle makes it easy to use and the small striking area gets into those hard to reach areas like the "sit spot."

Cons: You generally need at least two spoons, one for cooking and one for spanking. Need to check the flat surface for a proper finish to avoid splinters. Many people feel that the implement lacks the proper impact for an older recipient.

The humble wooden spoon, so innocous, yet so lethal.

Road Test:

France and Australia have long shared a friendship. We decided to extend that relationship by sharing the wooden spoon with a French matriarch and her teenage offspring.

Spanker: Mrs. Ardent, Marseilles, France. A wooden spoon? Surely this is for cooking, not spanking, oui? No, I was assured this one is for spanking. I put my martinet aside and called Danielle to show it to her. She asked if I wanted to help her with dinner. I took her over my knee and tres bien! What a job this spoon did of cooking her bottom! Lots of little red circles that turned her derriere scarlet. It had a nice long handle and I could easily smack her sit spot which made her legs kick. You need a very slight backswing to sting considerably and make her very hot. I will put this one aside for spanking and keep the one I currently have for cooking.

Spankee: Danielle, age 17. When Maman showed me the wooden spoon I thought she wanted me to help her with dinner. "Non," she said, "I am going to spank you, Dani." Spank me with a spoon? I scoffed. But I didn't scoof for long! It stings - a lot! My bottom was very red and very hot and the martinet has never given me so much pain where my thighs and derriere meet. Maman has said she will keep it and use it again. I do not know how my Australian cousines handle this all the time.

This picture has obviously been doctored, but I'm certain the spoon looked and felt this large to Danielle Ardent.

Kimberley Susan's assessment: another one I know lots about! Again sadly both giving and receiving. Mummy often used the spoon on me and my brother and sisters, the twins still get it and Chelsea got it not long ago when she cheeked Mummy in the kitchen. I haven't been spanked with one since I was little, the occasional swat, but not a full spanking. Aunty has more than one, but she doesn't use them all that often. Because they're considered a juvenile type implement I use them on some of my clients. If you have a long handle and a broad, flat base you can really light a blaze on a naughty little bottom. The ones with slots in the spoon which are used for pasta mostly can have the same sort of effect as a Spencer paddle. It may sound a little mean, but I do like to give a good spooning as much as I hated getting one!


  1. Growing up mom had three spoons, one for cooking and two for spanking in different drawers in the kitchen so she did not have to go too far to get one. Spoons like the brush will provide a nice deep feeling on our bottoms plus it stings like nobody's business. I love to spank and be spanked with the spoon, like the brush just so wonderfully domestic. Thanks

  2. Well reported Kimberley, since you have had experience both giving and receiving, I will consider you and expert. I have always said that to know how to give a good spanking, you need to have experienced getting one.

  3. Three spoons, Ron? Goodness my own mother only had two. The cooking one was always available on the benchtop and the spanking one lived in a drawer. Interestingly I think the spanking one saw more action than the cooking one!
    Dave, you and I are in agreeance on needing to know what a spanking feels like to be able to administer a proper one. Kimberley may be to differ. I think she's said in the past 'Why do I have to be spanked again, Aunty? I already know what it feels like!' Delightful child.

    1. And I imagine that both You and Kimberley can each administer a very effective spanking..... practice makes perfect :)

  4. As a regular recipient of a large wooden spoon I have to confirm its intense sting. It definitely works for grown ups as well. For me only hairbrush & bathbrush sting worse.

    Aunty Andrea, I was wondering if Kimberly had to be disciplined recently? We didn't hear about any of that for a long time.

  5. The only other implement I fear more than mama's wooden spoon is Aunty Shan's ebony hair brush.Something I have intimate knowledge of., they sting and Kimberley as the article says the small face makes it ideal to spank a boys sit spot until it bursts into flames. A lovely article Aunty Andrea, keep them coming

  6. Kimberley is delighted that people are enjoying this series, as am I. She made a face when she read your comment, Christoph. She is spanked when she needs it, dear. I don't let Seegee write them all up.