Hello to everyone, I do love Friday. Today we have the wooden spoon for our road test, a great favourite for Mums and Dads everywhere I am sure, although I regard it as the Australian spanking implement and so did the author of the original article.
The Wooden Spoon
The island continent of Australia has given the world many things: Kylie Minogue, vegemite and kangaroos. Until now the world has wanted to give them all back. But the wooden spoon as a spanking implement is something that will be treasured by all mothers.
Australian children know and fear the wooden spoon, hence this fridge magnet.
Pros: Very easy and cheap to obtain, nearly every department store and supermarket stocks a full complement in a variety of sizes. Multifunctional, can be used to stir the soup and cook a naughty bottom. Its long handle makes it easy to use and the small striking area gets into those hard to reach areas like the "sit spot."
Cons: You generally need at least two spoons, one for cooking and one for spanking. Need to check the flat surface for a proper finish to avoid splinters. Many people feel that the implement lacks the proper impact for an older recipient.
The humble wooden spoon, so innocous, yet so lethal.
France and Australia have long shared a friendship. We decided to extend that relationship by sharing the wooden spoon with a French matriarch and her teenage offspring.
Spanker: Mrs. Ardent, Marseilles, France. A wooden spoon? Surely this is for cooking, not spanking, oui? No, I was assured this one is for spanking. I put my martinet aside and called Danielle to show it to her. She asked if I wanted to help her with dinner. I took her over my knee and tres bien! What a job this spoon did of cooking her bottom! Lots of little red circles that turned her derriere scarlet. It had a nice long handle and I could easily smack her sit spot which made her legs kick. You need a very slight backswing to sting considerably and make her very hot. I will put this one aside for spanking and keep the one I currently have for cooking.
Spankee: Danielle, age 17. When Maman showed me the wooden spoon I thought she wanted me to help her with dinner. "Non," she said, "I am going to spank you, Dani." Spank me with a spoon? I scoffed. But I didn't scoof for long! It stings - a lot! My bottom was very red and very hot and the martinet has never given me so much pain where my thighs and derriere meet. Maman has said she will keep it and use it again. I do not know how my Australian cousines handle this all the time.
This picture has obviously been doctored, but I'm certain the spoon looked and felt this large to Danielle Ardent.
Kimberley Susan's assessment: another one I know lots about! Again sadly both giving and receiving. Mummy often used the spoon on me and my brother and sisters, the twins still get it and Chelsea got it not long ago when she cheeked Mummy in the kitchen. I haven't been spanked with one since I was little, the occasional swat, but not a full spanking. Aunty has more than one, but she doesn't use them all that often. Because they're considered a juvenile type implement I use them on some of my clients. If you have a long handle and a broad, flat base you can really light a blaze on a naughty little bottom. The ones with slots in the spoon which are used for pasta mostly can have the same sort of effect as a Spencer paddle. It may sound a little mean, but I do like to give a good spooning as much as I hated getting one!