Wednesday, 6 February 2013

'Valentine's Day - Part 1' by Esskay

Somehow that lovely man Esskay knew Aunty would be too busy in February to do a Valentine's Day story so he sent me one. It's a little too long to post as one story, so I'll be presenting it in two parts.

I know it's not specifically a Valentine's Day picture, but Kordelia Devonshire from Clare Spanks Men does have a heart shaped paddle on the bed and a very come here, young man, look in her eye.

       Dawn West awoke first on February 14, rolled over in bed and gazed at the face of her still-sleeping husband of seven weeks. “Valentine’s Day,” she said to herself. “Hopefully a lot less stressful than it was last year.”


       The previous two Valentine’s Days had been significant to Dawn and husband Don. It was exactly two years ago to the day that they met for the first time. Both had gone to a party on Friday night, each with other people, but they were introduced by a mutual friend, and once they started to talk, each became completely infatuated with the other in the rare moment when a person thinks they may have met the special person they have been hoping for. Since each had other dates, it was awkward to spend too much time talking to each other, and Dawn spent much of the weekend wondering if he would call. After what seemed like an eternity to her, Don called. They agreed to meet for dinner Monday and neither of them dated another person after that night.

       Last year Valentine’s Day was memorable for two reasons. It was the day that Don proposed to Dawn. And it was also the day that Dawn spanked him for the first time.


       Dawn was very nervous as she finished putting on her makeup that Saturday evening a year ago. Since the first of the month, Don had been hinting that their date on Valentine’s Day was going to be very, very special. Aware of the romantic connotations of the day, Dawn had become convinced that Don was planning to propose, especially since he had made dinner reservations at one of the most expensive restaurants in the area.

       The prospect of a proposal brought about mixed emotions in Dawn. Yes, she loved Don, that was not a question. The special feelings that arose in her very first night they met had proven to be just the beginning of how she would come to feel about him. In many, many ways he had proven himself to be the man she could commit the rest of her life to.

       But no one is perfect, and there was a “but” to him. A big “but.”

       Both were twenty-three years old that year, Don a couple of months older, but in Dawn’s eyes, she was a mature twenty-three, while Don was a “young” twenty-three. She was a teacher for a class of sixth graders, and she felt herself to be a fully responsible adult. He was a freelance writer of technical manuals, doing quite well financially for his age, but in a generally loose environment that called for little self-discipline. On one occasion, he had procrastinated so long on a project that he had to stay up for 48 hours straight to complete it on time. 

Also, while Dawn liked some of his friends, there were two in particular that she didn’t care for at all -- she felt that they brought out the worst in her boyfriend, leading him into situations that she felt uncomfortable about. She had tried to subtly hint that he distance himself from bad influences, but she had seen too many cases where he appeared to fall back into what she saw as behavior that was immature, irresponsible, even sometimes, juvenile.

       He also was absolutely, incurably, romantic and she didn‘t doubt for a moment that he loved her -- which made her quite sure a Valentine’s Day proposal was a near-certainty. She bought a new outfit for the occasion, a light blue dress that accentuated her attractive body. She was torn -- on one hand, she did not want him to propose, but she certainly wanted to look her best for him no matter what happened.

       Although her thinking had swung back and forth, she had made the decision that if he did propose, she would turn him down. It was a difficult decision, but she felt that the differences in their levels of maturity would doom the marriage. She hoped he could accept a negative answer and still keep their relationship going, but she feared a turndown might be so devastating to him that he might end it. Still, she concluded, it would be better to lose him now than to marry him and end up divorced later.

       She wished there was another way -- one in which they could be together, yet minimize his flaws. But she could not think of how to accomplish that.

       The meal was delicious, and he ordered one of the most expensive wines on the list to go with dinner. At one point, he excused himself to go to the men’s room, and when he returned he walked to the side of her chair, and started to kneel down next to her. “Oh my God,” she thought, “he’s going to propose right here,” but he stopped short of getting down to the floor and rose up with a huge smile on his face, saying, “The night is still young.” It was meant to be a romantic, playful moment, and it was typical of the kind of thing he would do, but other people in the restaurant saw it and had to wonder what had just happened. With Dawn already stressed over the impending proposal, the attempt at humor only made things worse and angered her.

       After dinner they returned to her apartment, with Dawn more nervous than ever. They sat together on her small couch, but Don rose, and this time did go down on his knees to ask her to marry him.

       Although she had determined to turn him down, she had been afraid that when he did actually ask, she might change her mind, but she did not. “I’m sorry, honey,” she said. “I love you but I can’t marry you. Not now.”

       A look of complete surprise came over him, and he start to shake noticeably. After all the times he and she had said how much they loved each other, he had no thought whatsoever that his proposal might be turned down. “Why?” he managed to ask in a weak, quivering voice.

       The disappointment was evident on his face. For a moment, Dawn thought she saw the same look as her young brother Josh, now eleven years old, might have displayed a few years ago when their mother told him something he didn‘t want to hear. Josh would have started to cry -- and she wasn’t positive that Don wouldn’t start to cry now.

       “I love you, honey,” she said as calmly as she could. “But you’re not ready to get married. You’re just not mature enough. Maybe in another year.”

       “Please, Dawn,” he pleaded. “I’ll change. I’ll do better. I know I’ve disappointed you a few times, but I won’t any more. Please marry me, I love you so much.” His voice was cracking and she felt very uncomfortable and was becoming upset, even a bit angry that he had put her in this position.

       “No, Don, no! It wouldn’t work. Look, honey, the bottom line is that I’m not perfect, but I do act like an adult all the time. You don’t. You know you don’t. Sometimes you act very juvenile. I swear, sometimes you act like Josh would. Except the only difference is when Josh acts like that he usually gets a good spanking from my mother.”

       “Please, Dawn, please marry me. I want to be with you.”

       “Don, no.” Although she had been a bit shaky at first, she had regained her composure and was becoming more confident in her refusal. In fact, with Don still on his knees and almost in tears, he was reinforcing the very perceptions she had about immature behavior that had made her turn him down. “If we got married, we’d probably be divorced in a year. I don’t want to end up hating you. Let’s continue the way we are -- let’s talk about marriage again next year.”

        Don decided to play his “trump card.” He looked up at her with sad eyes and said softly, “I bought a ring.”

       But the trump card had exactly the opposite effect that he had hoped for -- it made her angrier.

       “Damn, Don, how could you do that?” she exploded. “How could you possibly assume that my answer would be ’yes?’ This is not easy for me! I wish I could marry you, but I’m doing the adult thing by keeping us from doing something that may turn out wrong, and you’re just pushing ahead like a child pleading for the toy he wants.”

       Don was confused now and lost in his emotions. Still hoping the ring might get her to change her mind, he said, “Do you want to see the ring?”

       She really did want to see it, and the truth was that she feared she might weaken if she did, so she continued in her “adult” posture. “No, I don’t want to see it. Can you return it?”

       “It will cost me a couple of hundred dollars for the setting, but I can sell the diamond back to them.”

       “You’ve made me very angry,” she replied. “I love you, I’m honored you want to marry me, but don’t you see that everything you’ve done tonight just proves the point that some times you do act without thinking like some of my sixth graders?”

       “I’m sorry,” he managed to say. “It’s just that I love you and I want to marry you.”

       “Not right now. I can’t marry you and have to worry when you’ll grow up.” She motioned for him to get up off the floor and he sat on the couch next to her. She cuddled up next to him, and he put his arm around her as both became lost in their thoughts. He started thinking about the things he had done that had upset her in the past, while she considered what she should do or say next. She briefly considered bringing him into her bedroom for some intimacy, but thought better of it for now. She looked at his sad face and again thought of her little brother.

       When Dawn had been in college, she had once participated in a late-night gab session with some sorority sisters in which the girls discussed the kinds of marriages they expected to have. One of the girls, Denise, had said she was going to find the right man for what she called a Female Led Relationship, where she was the absolute authority in the marriage, with the power to make rules for her husband, and to enforce those rules with discipline and punishment. She said she had seen much on the internet about such relationships, including some sites that advocated physical punishments such as spankings for the husband -- that prompted quite a bit of laughter from the other girls. But Denise insisted there were men who needed dominant wives, and she was prepared to be such a wife.

Dawn herself desired what she saw as a relationship of equals, with neither partner the leader and both having equal status. But as she sat on the couch next to the man she loved who had shown tendencies towards juvenile behavior, the conversation from college came back into her mind, and she wondered if a 50-50 relationship with Don was possible -- or even best for him. What if she was in love with a man who would flourish in a Female Led Relationship?

       She needed to think about that for a few minutes, and the two continued to sit together in silence. Don was crushed and did not know if he could control his emotions if he spoke again, but he did not want to leave her apartment on such a sour note.

       Finally Dawn spoke.

       “I have a thought,” she said. “But you may not like it.”

       How exactly do you tell a man -- especially a man you love -- that you think he should agree to become a less-than-equal partner in a relationship, and also that he should agree to accept painful and embarrassing punishments from his partner. Dawn was well aware that what she was about to say could end the relationship in the next few minutes -- or could set a basis for a strong relationship that could last for decades to come.

       “Don, I love you. I really do,” she started. “I hope that someday -- maybe someday soon -- we can get married. But honey, a normal equal-partner relationship just isn’t going to work for us. We’re in love, but we’re in different places -- I’m an adult, and you have to admit it, in many ways, you’re still a child.”

       He started to speak, but she put her fingers to his lips to stop him. “Let me finish, honey, please. For us to make it as a couple, I’m going to need to be in charge. I’ll need to make the rules, and I’ll expect you to do what I say. And I’ll watch what you do, and I’m going to hold you accountable.”

       She took her fingers away from his face. “What does that mean?” he asked.

       “If you screw up I will punish you.”

        “What does that mean?” he repeated.

       “Honey, if you act childish, that’s the way you will be treated.” She looked at him very intently as she spoke the next words. “I will spank you.”

       He sat up straight with a smile, thinking the statement was an attempt at humor.

       “I mean it,” she told him. “I intend to spank you when you deserve it.”

       “Dawn, that’s ridiculous. I’m not your kid brother. Even if you did spank me, do you really think it would change anything?”

       She realized she was in completely uncharted territory now and had to push forward or back off forever. “Yes, I think it might very well make a difference. I have a hairbrush in the bedroom that I think would make you think twice about some of your actions.”

       His body language seemed to change to his being on the defensive, and the teacher felt emboldened. She still was angry about the incident in the restaurant and his premature purchase of the ring, so she felt if they were to have a Female Led Relationship, this was the time to start it.

       She knew the next few minutes would define the rest of her life.

       “You’re going to get spanked tonight,” she said. “Right now. Stand up and take off your clothes.”

       Don sat there looking completely confused. He had had a plan for the night, and none of it had turned out the way he expected. Now this -- it was a side of Dawn he couldn’t have imagined before, but, he admitted to himself, it was actually a bit exciting to him and he liked the way she was acting.

       He stood up slowly and started to unbutton his shirt.

       “I’ll be right back,” she said to him. “Continue getting undressed. Everything.”

       She went into the bedroom with her head swirling. The whole evening had been surreal -- what had just happened, she asked herself. An hour ago she would have still hoped for an eventual 50-50 marriage with Don once he had matured a bit, but now she had just taken charge of what would be a Female Led Relationship -- a concept she had disdained until now. She knew she wasn’t inebriated, but she wondered if the dinner wine had brought out a side of her that she didn’t know existed.

       But now here they were. He was undressing, and she was getting her hairbrush -- there was no turning back. She nervously slapped her own palm with the back of the brush, wondering how hard she should smack him with it. She hoped to make the spanking painful enough to have an impact on Don, but not painful or humiliating enough that he would want to end the relationship. She herself hadn’t been spanked since she had been a little girl and while she had seen her mother spank her younger brothers on a few occasions, her knowledge base on giving a spanking was basically nil.

       She took a deep breath and walked back into the living room to start her new life as the dominant partner in a Female Led Relationship.


  1. Interesting start and I love the start point of this relationship, nice post and as always well written....I like the step away for the moment but clearly as she enters the room, life has changed.

    Great post,

  2. Thank you Ron. Esskay's work is always of a very high quality. I will post the conclusion a little closer to Valentine's Day and allow people to read and think about this first part.