Friday, 20 September 2013

Spankee of the Year

Yes! I am finally back with a proper working internet and everything. Thank goodness!

In part to celebrate this and in part to thank you all and because this was always my intention I am opening up with a Spankee of the Year award.

Since July of 2012 I have been canvassing for nominations of celebrities that you my followers wanted to see spanked. When I started this little initiative I didn't really know where it would go or how long I'd do it for. Part way through I decided on 12 months, my holiday and the internet issues impacted everything a little, but here we are. I have 12 deserving ladies.

I'm going to post pictures of them all here with the month they were nominated and what for. I'll explain the rest after the gallery.

July 2012:

Tennis ace Maria Sharapova.

I chose Miss Sharapova myself way back in July of 2012 to get the ball rolling and to explain the concept. Her crime was largely the disturbing and annoying array of ear splitting shrieks and squeals she emits on court for the purpose of putting her opponent off. Viktoria Azarenka seems to have trumped the Russian on that count and she's gone past her in the rankings too, but Maria still remains number 1 for many, not least my friend and follower the Naughty Little Writer Penelope Hasler.

August 2012:

Granddaughter of Queen Elizabeth II, former party girl and Olympic equestrienne Zara Phillips.

The talented and not unattractive Zara poses with her hard won medal. I actually nominated Zara myself as it was an Olympic month and I wanted a famous Olympian that we would all be aware of. Zara used to party every bit as hard as her cousin Prince Harry, although these days she's happily married and a silver medal winning Olympian.


Songstress Katy Perry.

Young Katy found herself in this esteemed company after she accidentally flashed her rear and then there were her repeated crimes against her defenceless hair, which is seen in it's usual raven shade in this photograph. Recent events that involved other nominees seem to have left Miss Perry well and truly in the shade here though in my opinion. Please don't let that influence your vote though. If you want to see Katy's pretty little behind over my lap, let me know.

October 2012:

Recent Mum, the Duchess of Cambridge, Princess Kate.

The stylish and undeniably beautiful Princess found herself here because of some paparazzi photographs (which in my opinion should never have been taken in the first place) and a belief that she has put on airs and graces since marrying Prince William.

November 2012:

Fallen star Lindsay Lohan.

The name has become synonymous with scandal and ill advised life choices. At least we still have images like the one above to remind us that she was once a rising star with a bright future ahead of her.

December 2012:

Christmas regular singer Mariah Carey.

For December I really wanted someone people associated with Christmas and that was Miss Carey. She regularly puts out Christmas themed CDs and appears at Christmas events. That was in fact what earned her nomination. She has a penchant for showing off her impressive chest, which probably isn't a bad thing overall, but there's a time and a place, that's not at a Christmas event watched by millions, especially an audience containing young and impressionable children.

January 2013

Former world no 1 tennis player Caroline Wozniacki.

Given that January is Australian Open month down here having a tennis player seemed appropriate. Miss Wozniacki made it an easy choice by choosing to impersonate fellow player Serena Williams in a most unflattering way at an end of season event not long before the Open. It was a rather ungracious thing to do, and if results since are anything to go by the karma has come back to bite her in a big way.

February 2013:

The astonishing Lady Gaga.

This walking fashion show of the always weird and often wonderful was nominated for ungracious behaviour towards adoring fans, but when I found the 'meat dress' I couldn't help but add that to her list of crimes.

March 2013:

Queen of the rom com Katherine Heigl.

I must confess I really like Katherine Heigl as an actress, but her on screen persona does not match the off screen one in which she regularly engages in anti social behaviour. As followers well know Aunty has a cure for that.

April 2013:

Oscar winner Reese Witherspoon.

This was one of the year's big scandals. The highly talented Reese Witherspoon is generally one of the better behaved stars, but when she is in a car that was pulled over by a policeman doing his duty Reese pulled the 'do you know who I am?' card and attempted to bully the poor man. Definitely spankable behaviour.

May 2013:

Professional celebrity and public embarrassment Miley Cyrus.

I do apologise for the description, but what else fits? She was nominated for increasingly lewd behaviour back in May, but it has only escalated since then, culminating in her display of 'twerking' at the VMA awards earlier this month. If only she'd stayed as she was in the above picture.

June 2013:

Singer and fashionista Rihanna.

The beautiful pop princess is no stranger to controversy and she found herself in my Rogues Gallery for promoting marijuana smoking as a pretty cool thing to do. Honestly what are these people thinking at times? Do they know who their audience is?

There you have it 12 beautiful and deserving bottoms.

Now your mission should you choose to accept it is to pick one of the 12, the one you think is most deserving or the one you most want to see over my lap and let me know who your choice is. You can do this by emailing me or leaving a comment on this post. I'll give it a fortnight. Whoever gets the most votes wins.If it's a tie I'll do another post as a run off with the ladies chosen.

Now why should you do this? What do you get out of it? Well, I can't offer a prize or anything, but what I will do is write a story about the winner coming to the Spank Shop to collect her award. Of course part of the acceptance will be a spanking. My choice as to what the recipient receives.

Vote away!

Aunty Andrea.


  1. An impressive array of potential spankees but, in the spirit of the most deserving of a good, hard spanking getting the "prize", I nominate Miley Cyrus, for ample and multiple reasons, not just the VMA awards appearance, but her "Wrecking Ball" video and her apparent advocacy of drug use in her song lyrics.

    Give it to her GOOD, Aunty!


  2. I second Miley Cyrus for the same reasons above!

  3. I would like to nominate Reese Witherspoon for your 'prize' aunty. Anyone who thinks that they are above the law just because of their fame deserves a good spanking.
    Kind regards and most respectfully,

  4. Loving that people are giving me their thoughts. I will bear them in mind as nearly all of our girls are most deserving of a well roasted rear. Oh, if you have any thoughts on how you would like me to spank your nominee please don't hesitate to add that in there.

  5. Reese Witherspoon needs a good hiding over your lap with the hairbrush untill she cries like a new born baby

  6. Wow, too many lovely bottoms to choose, I love Gaga but let's move on. The new mom, well she is just so sexy but I almost see her as a lap now. Ms. Heigl again is amazing and a true bottom, would love to spank her, you know I would love Aunty to tan the bottom of the beautiful Miss Wozniacki, same with Ms Sharapova and let's face it Katy Perry may enjoy a good spanking.....well bottom line, excuse the pun, is Miley Cyrus needs a long and sound panty and bare bottom spanking over your knee.....awesome post.

  7. Unsurprisingly Miley is leading the pack, but interestingly Miss Witherspoon is getting votes.

  8. Okay, you know I see a lot of these ladies as spankERs rather than spankees... from Royal "wears the pants" Princess Kate to Mariah C (an old fantasy) to sassy Rihanna to especially Her Most Worshipfulness Miss Sharapova... but even I, Banjo, am going to chime in and vote for little miss Miley Cyrus to receive a red-hot 'reward', Auntie! Perhaps Aunty Gabrielle - as a concerned mother - might assist? I'd even go so far as to say that the 'award ceremony' should be a particularly lengthy one... :P

  9. To be honest I don't really get the Miley "hate/love". So she's growing up and trying to shake off the childhood image. How many times have we seen that by now? Give me a break.
    Lohan would have been my obvious choice a year or two ago, but I don't recall having heard of any serious escapades on her part recently.
    Rhianna and Katty Perry would also be "fun" to have as winners, but I fail to see a decent reason.
    Reese is a good candidate given the mentioned incident, but she's not on the top of my list.
    Gaga would also be fun, but isn't she really just acting strange, rather than "naughty"?
    For me the vote goes to Katherine Heigl. She may be an OK actress, but judging from the rumour mill, she is an absolute pain in the ass to have to work with. Divaish behaviour and being a pain to work with ought to earn her a good pain in the rear in my view.

    1. Which, by the way, would also turn her into an OTK actress...

  10. I thank you for your votes and your thought before placing them.

  11. dearest Andrea,

    I assume you’ll be starting off with a bawling-kicking-crying smackbottom and a generous dose of the hairbrush to full-fire conditions. What follows that will no doubt depend on who it is, but my suggestions are:

    Maria Sharapova, I’ll leave her to you – you’re much more of a fan and I’m sure you know best how to deal with a sports star who is feeling a bit too entitled.

    Zara and Kate Middleton, I’d let off – if they were spanked when nominated that’s plenty; if they weren’t their time has passed.

    Lindsey Lohan could use a good caning to introduce her to London and a few British traditions – I’m not sure how many you can get in, it seems likely to be less than she deserves…

    For Reese, as I’ve mentioned before, her name practically requires that she be spanked with a spoon – one of those blitzing blizzards of a spanking, smacks raining down in a cloudburst, fast and hard from first to last, the kind that will blank her mind of all thoughts except what’s happening to her seat. This with a wooden kitchen spoon, preferably maple or another solid wood, longish handle but convenient for over-the-knee work, deep bowl. Good (fast, continuous) overall coverage, easy on the thighs, a lot of focus on the center of each cheek right above the thighcrease.

    Rihanna, I’d say, anyone who posted this pic of her own bottom is practically begging for the strap.

    I’d put Lady Gaga in the same category, or maybe bent over for a paddling.

    Katy Perry and Mariah Carey are rather the opposite (of Rihanna) – their bottoms are better padded and less sturdy. Double with the hairbrush for either of them, very thorough coverage, extra on the lower curves, then repeat.

    Katherine Heigel, this really galls me because as you say she plays such a nice sweet woman who deserves to have good things happen to her (like meeting a decent guy, for example). Then in real life she turns around and treats people in just the way that would make you want to opposite for her. In this case the opposite should be similar to that mom you had in who pushed her daughter too hard in softball or soccer – paddled out back on the porch then brought in to have her thighs slapped with a good sturdy ruler. Hard to feel too superior and privileged with that going on!

    And that brings us to, as you so perfectly put it, “public embarrassment” Miley Cyrus and her out-of-control parents. While she doesn’t appeal to me, in honor of her Wrecking Ball video – or what I’ve heard of it – she ought to be naked. For her VMA twerking, definitely bent over for a big paddle. But the coup d ’grace, in honor of her country heritage, ought to be an American-style switching. Not a modified caning, but the kind where one hand is held well above her head while a thin whippy switch drives her in a circle until there’s not a speck of white from hip to hip and waist to knees. Only take a minute or two but sure to be memorable and what’s left of her tears wouldn’t be enough to water a cactus. Ms. Cyrus not only gets my vote but also has the distinction of having not one but two parents who could very easily accompany her. Gabrielle could get after Billy Ray with a strap and explain what might be appropriate behavior for a husband and father. Kimberly should deal with Tish, going over what priorities a mother needs to have in raising, dealing with, and relating to her daughter. I’d limit Kimberly to a riding crop, a locked door, and a generous amount of time.

    Oh and Caro W.? Her you can leave to me.

    1. John thank you so much for your thoughts and that you articulated them so well and with such detail. Very much appreciated. If Miss Cyrus does win, and she's building a lead now, I have plans for at least one other member of her family, probably Tish, as well.

  12. I think I have to vote for Katherine Heigl. Like you I admire her as an actress but her poor behaviour at her age demands that she be put over your lap, Aunty, with her knickers down and spanked and hairbrushed until she has the mother of all very sore, very hot bottoms. She might just think twice about her actions if she is nursing a sore and swollen bum!

  13. Dear Auntie Andrea, Ma'am,
    Someday maybe you may want to order a bad little boy who lurks on your site like me, rarely missing a post but almost never posting himself, to make an appointment with Miss Kimmy, Ma'am!
    While I believe that Paris Hilton deserves a legendary "Lifetime Achievement Award," I think that this year a certain little Miss Miley Cyrus is just BEGGING for it too much to be denied!!!!
    Lindsey and Brittany should also receive special "Frequent Flyer Over Auntie Andrea's Knee Miles!"
    The world awaits your actions on all of us out-of-control little brats with breathless anticipation, Ma'am!